Never buy soap from old ladies
by Amazinglytasteless
Summary: Never trust an old lady selling you soap, Brittany learns this lesson when she's thrown on the strangest adventure she's ever been a part of, she's thrown into some anime her friend is obsessed with, land masses aren't supposed to talk damnit!
1. Something in the soap

**AN: I am not multi-lingual so this will be mostly in English.**

_Never trust an old lady selling you soap, Brittany learns this lesson when she's thrown on the strangest adventure she's ever been a part of, she's thrown into some anime her friend is obsessed with, land masses don't talk damnit!_

"Eighteen girl!" Kristie squeaked, I grinned up at my unnaturally hyper friend.

Yup, I'm eighteen today and as an Australian I am officially the legal drinking age which is amazing! I flicked my hair away from my face and turned to look at my giant cookie cake, best birthday cake ever! It was a giant cookie!

"Britty baby, get your friends over here and we can get the cake out of the way! Blow out your candles, make a wish, kiss the nearest boy and then we can get to opening the pressies!" My mum, a short, chocolate haired, olive skinned woman with dark eyes and a pregnant belly trotted over. She was very cheerful my mum, she had a sunny disposition and I took after her quite a lot.

Like her I was a bit vertically challenged, though my skin was lighter than hers it still had that olive tone to it, my hair was dyed black and white which mum had said no to for ages but being a teenager I got it done anyway, I got a pretty severe grounding for that stunt but mum hasn't kicked up a fuss about it since.

My Nonno (Grandfather) followed behind with a cheerful smile dominating his face, proud to see his granddaughter turning eighteen and my friends surrounded the table excitedly, a few of them were swaying a bit and I really hoped they didn't puke up their liquor while we performed the rather childish tradition of singing 'happy birthday' and blowing out the candles.

"Happy birthday to you,"

Everyone began and I stood there smiling like a dork unsure of what to do while they sang to me, I never could work out where you're supposed to look when people sing happy birthday to you, it's kind of awkward.

"Hip, hip, Hooray!"

I leaned down and blew out my candles, wishing for the next season of 'Soul eater,' because what else does an eighteen year old wish for? Who wants a car when you can have your favourite anime?

So then we got to the presents and guess who got her wish granted! First time the stupid candles have ever worked for me actually, my birthday wishes still owe me about ten ponies! I looked up at Kristie, the friend who had gotten me the final season of soul eater, and smiled, she was a bit of a dork that girl but a sweeter friend you'd never find.

She bent down and winked,

"I knew I'd get you the best present." She boasted, I laughed and shook my head,

"It's a good anime."

"It's the only one you like, you should give Hetalia a go." She pouted, I rolled my eyes, she had been trying to get me into that ever since she became obsessed with it!

"I told you, land masses don't just dislogde themselves from the earth and walk around." I told her, she rolled her eyes,

"They're personifications silly! Besides you're Italian, you should be interested in your personification!" She poked my nose and I jerked my head back, I hated being touched on the face.

"I was born in Australia, I am Australian, besides you told me he's a pussy anyway."

She laughed and moved back so I could continue opening the presents I received and I have to admit this year had some pretty good pickings! Mum had sent in my Ipod to get fixed (because clumsy me dropped it and cracked the screen) and she rapped it up again along with new headphones and a panda Ipod cover.

My friend Jake got me a new jacket, it had hidden pockets on the inside and a hood and I put it on immediately shoving my Ipod in the pocket. I got several movies, I got a poster, I got a lazer pointer (this would be useful if I got into Uni) and finally my friend Mark thought it would be hilarious to give me an Edward Cullen mask, and being the hilarious idiot he was he decided to wear it for the rest of the night.

It was a good night, after that we got back to drinking and swimming in the canvas above ground pool mum had set up (we couldn't afford an in ground pool) and some pretty marvelous stunts were pulled, the kind of things you wouldn't even dream of doing sober but when you're drunk EVERYTHING is a good idea.

I couldn't remember falling asleep but I woke up on the couch, drool sliding out of the corner of my mouth...ew. I wiped up the drool and got up heading towards the shower, I smelled of Alchohol and...why do I smell bubblegum? Oh god I don't even want to know.

When I reach the shower it turns out...we're out of soap, I make a grumbling noise and shower anyway, using shampoo as soap and wasting half of the bottle by doing so, I get out of the shower and put on some Jean shorts and a tank, Queensland has some pretty humid weather after all.

It would be a good idea NOT to wear any form of jacket but I go against my better judgement, absolutely loving my new birthday Jacket and out it on, hooking my headphones into my ears and after scribbling a quick note I head out of the door and down the street.

There's a herbal shop nearbye, I'm sure they'd have some kind of soap, otherwise I will have to take a bus or borrow mum's car and drive to the supermarket, which would kind of suck.

I arrive at the herbal shop and enter, there's a faint jingle from somewhere within the store and I frown, nobody seems to be here but the sign out front clearly said 'open' I sigh and move around, looking for some kind of soap.

"Can I help you m'dear?"

I jump and turn around to be met with a hunchbacked old lady, grinning at me with a hook nose and crooked teeth.

"Uh...yeah do you have soap?"

"Of course." She mumbles and begins shuffling behind the counter, I follow her and wait as she bends down and pulls up a dark brown box,

"This is a very nice smelling herbal soap, it's good for relaxing the muscles and it's very cheap, would you like some?"

Er...I honestly didn't care about the good for muscles crap but the 'cheap' caught my attention immediately, I nodded, noticing the woman spoke with an odd lisp but I decided to ignore it, who am I to judge somebody who talks with a lisp?

I grab the soap and she given me a strangely wicked grin,

"Enjoy." She sings and I leave the shop utterly confused, THIS is something I'm definately going to be mentioning to everyone at home what a creepy chick! I open the brown box and pull out the purplish soap, I bring it to my nose and sniff it.

Suddenly a wave of dizziness overcomes and and I move the soap away,

"Woah!" I stumble and catch myself before I fall onto my ass...the hell? I slowly bring the soap back to my nose, I know intelligent right? I take a long sniff and my senses go wonky again, bad idea, I black out.

...

"She's small yo!"

"How on earth did she come to drop in on the meeting like that aru?"

"Britain is this _your_ doing?"

"What, me! I have nothing to do with this!"

I groaned, and suddenly the voices I had been hearing quieted, my memories flowed quite slowly back into my head in thick, sluggish chunks, I remembered smelling the soap...I passed out didn't I? So those were what these voices were, probably some people trying to see if I was okay, I had to tell them I was fine.

I slowly opened her eyes to be met with freakishly blue ones,

"ACK!"

I skuttled backwards and stared wide eyed at the men in front of me, not only did I not like being touched on the face I didn't like people's faces being that close either! Then I realised, I was in a room...what? Maybe they had taken me here when they saw me passed out...my mum! She would be going nuts, how long was I out! I had a lot of questions so I started with the ever so intelligent phrase,

"Uuuhhhh,"

The men continued to stare at me,

"C-can you tell me where I am?"

"Why you're only in the very capitol of America, washington D.C."

I laughed,

"No really where am I?"

"Washington D.C."

Another of the men repeated, I frowned,

"Are you guys kidnappers or something?" I was scared now...this had to be some kind of joke! I could NOT be in America when I had been in Australia only minutes ago...but I had been passed out, what if it's been days, months, years even! Okay calm down Brit...there's some kind of explanation to this...they're screwing with you that's it! They're just joking.

The men frowned at me, as though they weren't sure I was entirely there,

"No I can assure you we are not kidnappers." A sandy blonde spoke up in a brittish accent, god he needed to wax his eyebrows...

"Then how can I be in America then huh?" I exploded, I wanted answers, what the hell was going on!

"Woah, woah, dude calm down! America's a great place to be!" Another blonde spoke, his accent was undeniably American, I had heard the accent enough in movies and media, he was tall and was wearing a brown jacket, I frowned.

"But I was in Australia like ten minutes ago! Don't tell me they somehow invented teleporters while I was out because that's bullshit!"

The men seemed surprised at my hostility, damn right I was being hostile these creeps were probably kidnappers or something!

"Woah, bella calm down ve? We can find out what's going on and be friends yes?" The Italian accent, well familiar to me because of my Nonno's origin, drew my attention to a friendly looking Italian bloke with a random curl sticking out of the side of his hair.

"Yes please calm down so we can discuss this civally."

I didn't want to be calm, I wanted to yell and scream and punch things, I was so confused and scared and what would mum think? There was no way I could be in America just no way! However I let them lead me over to a chair and I let my knees buckle, holding my head in my hands and trying not to be sick.

"Are you alright mamoiselle?"

I looked up to see a smiling frenchman, he was also blonde...god there's a lot of blondes here aren't there?

"Yeah, thanks." I muttered.

"Alright tell us what happened." I turned to see the Englishman talking again and I sighed,

"I don't know, I went to a store to get some soap, which I'm pretty damned sure wouldn't end up in me magically flying over the ocean to America, and I met this creepy old chick who gave me some soap, I smelled the soap and I reckon it had crack in it or something because I passed out right after and woke up here, what's _your_ side of the story?"

"We were having a meeting and then you just came out of nowhere."

I raised an eyebrow at the Japanese man who had spoken,

"First you tell me I have a magical ability to teleport when I'm unconcious to other countries then you tell me I ALSO have the magical ability to randomly apear in random meetings, who am I, Harry Potter or something?"

I growled.

It took a long time but finally I began to connect the dots...accents, the blonde guy tried to introduce himself let slip 'Ame..." before he quickly corrected himself with Alfred, how close these guys looked to realistic versions of that stupid anime Kristie kept shoving in my face and finally that freaky old chip with the soap...

I didn't believe it at first, but it became far too clear and far too soon too...I was in a freaking anime!

As soon as I come to this realisation I burst into tears...what if I never saw my friends or family ever again? What if I never got home? What kind of life could I ever have here? I don't think I'd have any legal documents or identification or anything...I don't technically EXIST here...I felt a hand awkwardly patting my shoulder and I ignored it.

I sobbed into my hand and my sobs filled the silence that was now present oposed to the previous loud chatter and questions...

"Ah mamouiselle do not cry! Here let old Francis make it all better." I felt arms wrap around me and I freaked out, unless you're a good friend don't touch me! The frenchman however didn't seem to take my violent jerk away from him as any form of hint and hugged me to him anyway...awkardest moment of my life.

"Uh, can you let go please? I'm not a hugger..."

"Ah but everybody loves hugs! It is another form of love and love is very important!"

"Let her go frog, she doesn't want your perverted hands touching her!"

Luckily the frenchman let go but unluckily him and the brit began to fight...I moved over to my chair and let my knees buckle, I sat and cried, I honestly didn't care if people were watching.


	2. Settling in

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took a little while to update, also last chapter I kept writing 'Mamoiselle' I don't know other languages very well and I'm very ashamed to say that was incorrect, it feels weird making the characters talk entirely in english but at the same time I don't have enough knowledge of language to make them drop the odd word so I really apologise for any mistakes and I will do my best (but for the most part I think I'm going to try to stick to english)**

I have the worst luck ever, these people are completely nuts! After I got over my sob fest, which I'm still very ashamed about, the country people decided to continue the meeting and give me a bit of space.

It was awkward though because I could tell they were keeping things due to my being there, so eventually I excused myself, apologised for intruding and left the room. I needed to get out and breathe anyway.

I sat down on the oposite side of the door, staring at the wall and trying to collect my hectic thoughts. Luckily it was a long meeting, so after a long while, I finally managed to calm myself down and look at the facts, okay.

There was a possibility I was in an anime, either that or completely mental. I just couldn't accept it, it's an anime for a reason, because those things don't EXIST in reality, there are no such things as people country...things! ARGH!

Okay, calm down Brit...maybe they are actually like those people in those big meeting thingies? Just representatives? Maybe I've had it wrong the entire time, they aren't personifications of countries, they're just representatives, yeah...maybe it's a show based on real life, turned anime to be funny? Yeah...then how did I get here?

Okay, in the end the theory I decided to stick with was this, I was kidnapped by some creepy rapist guy then taken to America where he accidentally dropped me out of an air vent when he was trying to sneak me past in to get into the country...okay it doesn't sound very realistic, but it's more realistic than being in an anime!

I sighed and leaned my head back against the wall, I stuck one of my headphones in my ear and hummed along to music, I stayed like that for a while, how long does it take to have a meeting anyway? I was slowly putting my Ipod away when BOOM,

"EEK!"

I shrieked as the door slammed open and smacked against the wall,

"Woah dude!" The blonde American representitive was basically pissing himself with laughter,

"You should see your face right now, you were so scared just then! HaHA!"

I glared half heartedly at the American,

"I can't believe that scared you! That's even better than that time I scared Kiku, oh god that's so funny!"

I sniffed over-dramatically and crossed my arms as he went on with his rambling,

"Shut up." I stuck my tongue out at him, just because I was freaked out and in the strangest situation ever didn't mean I couldn't make friends right?

"I apologise for the long wait, but we had a lot to discuss."

I nodded at the brit and shrugged, "S'all right."

He nodded as the Italian from before crashed through the two blonde men and bounded to my side,

"Ciao again Bella! I'm Feliciano Vargas, who're you?"

I blinked and smiled a bit uncertainly at the Italian, he seemed nice I guess,

"I'm Brittany, Brittany Mancinelli." His huge smile somehow became even bigger.

"You're Italian?" He chirped.

"Well no, I'm Australian, but my Nonno is." I answered, smiling.

"Well the Italian is there and that's fantastic!"

I had to admit I did love the accents, I always have been a sucker for a good accent and so far every person here had one, I think the strongest accent was from the French guy however, I think maybe he only learnt English recently or doesn't speak it much, actually he was pretty hard to understand and I could only roughly guess what he was saying. I watched as a lot of the representitives left, probably heading home after the meeting, I was left only with three people, two of which being the Brit and the American and the last one I'm not entirely sure, although he did look like he could be related to the American, could America have two representitives? State represensitives maybe? Maybe he represented Alaska?

"So Miss..."

The Englishman began, obviously spacing on my long last name,

"Just call me Brit." I shrugged, he nodded.

"Miss Brittany, do you know your mother's phone number? Perhaps we can call her."

I was excited at the prospect, if I could just get in contact with mum then everything would be fine, I would squash down that stupid anime theory and have a way to get home, I inwardly cringed at the thought of the money it would take to fly me back to Australia, I would have to take on extra shifts and make it up to her.

"Yes please, do you have a phone I could use?"

He nodded and reached into his jacket, pulling out a well looked after, modern looking phone and handing it to me. I quickly tapped in mum's number and called, I waited eagerly for her familiar cheerful voice reaching me from over the line and I bit my lip which is a habbit of mine when I'm excited.

It's amazing how a few words can crush your hopes entirely,

_I'm sorry the number you have dialed is not listed, please try again._

A robotic female voice spoke through the phone and I bit my lip harder to stop it from trembling, I held the phone out to him and in a shaky voice said,

"It says the number isn't listed."

The Englishman frowned and quickly grabbed the phone back, he tapped a few things and held it back to his ear and after a few seconds slowly put it away.

"It does indeed."

I felt the panic begin to bubble up in my sistem and I wriggled uncomfortably, I stood up and looked up at the faces in front of me, they all seemed a bit worried or confused.

"Well hey, dude can stay at my place for a while until we figure out what's up, I have the room."

I looked at the American again and immediately I felt bad,

"Oh no! I think I have some money in my pocket, I could rent a cheap hotel or something, get a job, I can support myself, really you don't have to do that."

He laughed and waved me off,

"Nah It'll be fine!"

"I don't want to intrude..."

He shook his head,

"You won't be intruding, it'll be cool to have some company anyway, come on the meeting is over and we all need to head home now anyway, you may as well come along with me, I am the only one who actually lives in America after all."

"Isn't there an Australian representitive?"

I was met with silence as suddenly all eyes were on me.

"I beg your parden?" The brit immediately spoke up.

"Uh, well I'm sorry if I'm wrong but you know you guys are all wearing suits and everything and there's all these people from different countries and before you seemed to be discussing a lot of political stuff and well uh...I just assumed you were like politicians representing your countries or something like that."

The three seemed to relax.

"Yeah you pretty much got it dude!" The American laughed and slapped a hand onto my shoulder, the Englishman nodded.

"Yes we work in parliament, which is lucky for you because we can figure out your situation, you say you passed out and woke up here? You were in Australia originally correct?"

I nodded affirmation,

"Yeah."

The Brit nodded again,

"Alright, well I will have to look into this more, but for now you can stay with Alfred, he'll take care of you."

I smiled at the English representitive and thanked him for all of his help and he gave a light smile and nod in return before turning heel and walking away, I turned to the American look alike and gave him an uncertain smile, he returned it and quietly wished me luck before leaving as well.

This left me with the American, or Alfred as Mr. English called him, I felt a bit nervous being left alone with a stranger, and I felt even more nervous at the idea of having to stay with him for a while.

"Looks like it's just you and me now dude, come on I'll drive you to my place."

He shot me a white, toothy grin and lead me outside to a large parking lot, he walked me over to his car and I smiled,

"That's a fancy car don't you think?"

It was a shiny, black car and Alfred grinned,

"Purely American, with an American name, it's a lincoln!"

I nodded and smiled,

"That's very patriotic of you," I got into the passenger side of the car and he hopped into the driver's seat and we were on our way, he spoke to me as he watched the road while driving,

"Well what kind of cars do you like then?"

"Well I would love to own a cherry red Jaguar..."

Alfred's smile only grew,

"Do you like cars dude?"

I laughed,

"Well I don't know much about them but I do like them."

He nodded simply and we were over taken by an awkward silence, I shuffled uncomfortably and out of the blue he asked another question,

"Have you ever been to American before dude?"

I shook my head,

"I came here on Holiday when I was like three but I don't remember it at all."

He nodded,

"Well America is a great country, you'll love staying here! In the capitol too!"

"Is this where that President Lincoln guy statue is? You know the president who wore the big hat and had a beard?"

The American laughed,

"Yup! Hey are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet, want to stop at Mcdonalds on the way to my place?"

I hesitated,

"I haven't exchanged my money yet..."

Alfred rolled his eyes,

"Stop worrying about that, my treat, no problem!"

I handed him an Australian five dollar note,

"You can exchange that anyway, I'll just have a happymeal please..."

He shook his head, smile still plastered onto his face and pocketed the five dollars.

...

Okay Alfred may be in politics but I have never seen a house this _massive _before! I could only stare in awe at the huge building in front of me as the owner casually walked up to the door and unlocked it.

It was a mansion no doubt about it, it was large with a mahogany brown and ivory white colour theme and the place was obviously well kept and I doubted Alfred was the one who kept it that way. The were different kinds of plants in the garden surounding the house and I couldn't even count the amount of windows, what surprised me was that Alfred aparantly lived there pretty much alone, when I asked him if it was a little bit much for one person he just laughed it off, he didn't give me a proper answer.

Suddenly I felt very self concious, I wasn't exactly homeless but I was a long way away from being rich, I didn't know how to act in such an extravagant house and I made sure to take my shoes off, I stayed as far away from the expensive looking furniture as possible and even further away from anything that looked breakable.

Alfred seemed to notice how I flinched every time I came close to something fragile and he raised an eyebrow at me,

"You okay dude?"

It was then I looked at him properly, he was tall, much taller than me and he had a lean sort of build, he stood perfectly relaxed in the middle of all these riches and despite it being such an expensive house he didn't exactly fit the part of 'rich man.'

He was wearing what sort of looked like a pale brown suit with a darker brown bomber jacket over the top of it, he was wearing a very loose tie and his shoes, while kept decent didn't shine the way you would expect a rich man's to and he didn't look like the sort of person who left the physical work up to every one else. While he had a friendly face and a kind of spark in his eyes there was still something about the way he held himself that said 'experience' he was somebody not to be messed with.

"Dude?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts and I blinked at him,

"Huh?"

He laughed and began walking up the stairs, I followed, stepping carefully on the stairs when normally I would pound my way up them, it was as though even the stairs were worth more than my entire house and had to be taken care of.

Alfred led me to a hallway full of doors and walked straight down to the end of it where one lone door stood at the end of the hall, he carelessly flung the door open and there was a _massive _room with a king sized bed, a t.v, a couch and all different sorts of decorations and forms of entertainment in it.

"This is my room, so if you need anything just knock or something,"

He turned to the door just diagonal from his room and opened it,

"You can stay in here, all of the rooms have their own bathroom so you can use the shower and stuff and don't worry about the breakables,"

His eyes twinkled with amusement as he turned to look at me,

"they're not going to bite so you don't need to run away from them."

I felt myself blush and I giggled a bit at his observation,

"Thankyou so much Alfred you have no idea how much I appreciate this."

He waved me off,

"It's fine, helping people in need is what I do!"

I walked into the room and he shut the door behind me, the room was no where near as large as his had been but it was still pretty big, much bigger than my room, heck even my lounge room at home and it had a double bed, an old looking desk, a wardrobe and a door that I assumed lead to the bathroom, the room was a simple reddish colour and it wasn't specialy decorated or anything.

I walked over and looked into the bathroom, I was surprised to find that the toilet was in the bathroom like in hotels and not seperate like it was in all the houses I had ever been to back home but I guessed because it was a bathroom attatched to a bedroom it had to be.

The one window on the side of the room opposite the door showed that it was rather late and I was exhausted after going through so much shock in one day, I was still in shock actually and I was rather freaked out at the idea of staying in a stranger's house.

I stared at the bed, I didn't have any pyjamas and I couldn't sleep in my underwear in somebody else's house! I frowned as I tried to figure out what to do, it would be gross if i slept in my clothes and used them again tomorrow and how long could one pair of clothes last anyway?

_Knock knock_

"Come in!"

Alfred opened the door and held out a shirt,

"I figured you didn't have clothes so you can use one of my old shirts to sleep in, tomorrow I'll grab you some stuff to tie you over until we figure out what's up with your family and home."

I stared at him wide eyed,

"Are you sure you can afford that?"

He seemed confused at my hesitation to accept his offer,

"Sure I can."

I felt shocked that someone would spend their hard earned money on me like that and suddenly I felt horrible for putting him in such a situation,

"Oh god I am so sorry, I'll pay you back every last cent I promise! I feel so bad for making you use your hard earned money on me like that, and letting me stay here and..."

He cut me off as I began to babble,

"Woah, woah, woah, hey there! It's no problem at all, I have heaps of room and money to spare you don't need to freak out over the money dude!"

I gently took the shirt from the American man,

"Thankyou." I said quietly, he gave me a friendly smile and closed the door.

I didn't like when people spent money on me, mum had been the only bread winner in the house because she had me so early in life and so my dad left and never came back for us, Nonno worked for a while but he soon became too old and so mum had to support me and Nonno and herself. Growing up having to be very anal about money use taught me how precious money is and I always hated it when people got me things I didn't need or were what I considered expensive.

I took off my clothes and layed them out neatly before slipping on the plain white shirt he had given me (which was far too big for me) and crawling into bed, I curled up and waited for the thoughts and emotions stampeding through my head to quiet down so I could sleep.


End file.
